Teahouse Coffee Shop - Imperial Palace, Las Vegas. Why was I here?

Vegas is not my friend. Last time I was here, it robbed me a of a month's rent. This time, it kept me up for 24 hours straight. At 7 am, half drunk and wandering the Imperial Palace casino floor, I was the last of my tribe in sight. Not terribly hungry but needing food, I searched for the sign that would tell where to go to get some food-- Teahouse Coffee Shop. A coffee shop? An opportunity to make it mean something to be up this late... this early?

I staggered, out of exhaustion, not inebriation, to the escalator and took immense pleasure in not having to move for the ride up. I stood by the entrance for moment before I startled the hostess with my presence. Apparently my staggering was stealthy. This woman would not survive the zombie apocalypse. Despite the hour, the staff was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I guess they hadn't been in the Mai Tai bar off the lobby since midnight.

Maybe it was just me, but I couldn't tell what they were going for decor wise. It's at the Imperial Palace, which is Asian themed (it vacillates between Chinese and Japanese) and the place is called the Teahouse Coffee Shop...there's a lot going on there. Basically what you get is a pastel-ly, strip-mall looking Japanese restaurant that doesn't serve Japanese food but rather American diner favorites.

I call this face "Uggh."



So first thing I did after sitting was order a coffee. I then inquired if they had any breakfast specials. I had just missed the cheapo Vegas-style full meal for 6.99 by 30 minutes. I ordered the Silver State Skillet. Two eggs served over a "casserole" of sausage, pork and bacon on a bed of hash browns. It sounded like such a good idea. That's a gang of pig!

First the coffee came...straight from the pit of hell. This was the hottest cup of coffee I had ever been in uncomfortable proximity to. Was it good, though? No idea! It was so hot I could barely sip it. It seemed weak though. I guess casinos don't like you to be alert.

Then the food came. Awww, a flower. That's precious.



The food sounded like a good idea. In truth, the food was fine. Nothing special, nothing to recommend. It's a Vegas casino breakfast. It put food in me and it didn't come back to haunt me.


The only disappointing thing were the "biscuits." They sucked. Get a load of the scale of these tiny dust-tasting things. Almost 3 bucks for that. I got a better return on my investment of three bucks into the video poker machine that I randomly pressed buttons on for a minute before I crapped out.

Food: Meh.
Service: Friendly.
Price: $7-20 (it's Vegas)
Pie: Nope.

3535 Las Vegas Blvd. South
Las Vegas, Nevada

UPDATE!

Imperial Palace Teahouse Coffee Shop is now a Hash House A-Go-Go.

Still not that good.


The interior is completely remolded to fit in with the Hash House A-Go-Go aesthetic.



The food is still presentation over quality. Although, I do really like their biscuits. That right there is an improvement over the previous version of the restaurant.

Jouni's Cafe - Proud to be an American eatery.

Jouni's Cafe was recommended by a reader; yes, I have readers other than you. Unless you are the guy who recommended it--then I guess I just have you. Sooooo.....thanks!



Jouni's is another "far east" diner, located in Upland, far from the big city lights. It's not by a freeway so I can't recommend it for convenience as with Corky's. This is solidly "If you are out there and want to get something good to eat, go to Jouni's."



It does have a tangible lived-in feel to it. Similar in style to Corky's; however, you can tell that Jouni's has been around for awhile. We had a super friendly waitress who did her best to help us with the menu. It wasn't that the menu was difficult to understand, it was just pretty extensive and we had questions about recommendations. She seemed to struggle because, as she put it, "she doesn't really like food," but pushed on.

They are really proud of their omelettes and really like flags.



Looking at the menu, I knew without a doubt that I had to order the Brooklyn eggs: Eggs Benedict with pastrami taking over the role of "meat" for the aging yet still capable ham.

Add some tasty home-fries and you have a potential plate full of flavor joy.



It fully delivered. The hollandaise combined with the pastrami could have spelled a salty disaster and given me an instant case of gout. Luckily, the hollandaise was very rich and smooth while the pastrami was a good kind of fatty.

Number One Diner Companion Antoinette ordered the Adam's Eggs: two poached eggs on top of ham slices on top of a biscuit, served with gravy, which Antoinette opted to have on the side. The biscuit was incredibly good, so much so that she wished it had come with another one. The gravy, however, was a little thick.



The coffee at Jouni's was pretty good, but in a moment of insanity I added non-dairy creamer, otherwise known, "Aww shit, it's oil!"

Also, if you are looking for a reason to go to Jouni's Cafe, oddly an American tragedy provides an excellent reason.



If you are a cynical jerk you can at least say "Hey, free breakfast." But you're still a jerk!

Jouni's Cafe was a great experience. Good food, pleasant atmosphere and a feeling of home.

Food: Really good.
Service: Great.
Price 6-10
Pie: No but various kinds of cake-like dessert options.


Jouni's Cafe
930 Central Ave.
Upland, CA
909-946-2119

On the Road: In San Diego, AGAIN! Ricky's

I'm coming up to the one year anniversary of the first "On the Road" report, which featured two San Diego diners--one good, one bad. Now, as I ready myself for another trip down there, I am finally going to post a quickie review of another San Diego eatery that I hit some time ago.

Rickys! Apostrophe in there? I have no clue. Is it his restaurant or are there a bunch of Rickys all working together to form Devastator?



Diner pal Professor Nefarious and I hit Rickys completely by accident on one trip down to the SD. A wrong turn put us on Hotel Circle and our hunger made us stop.

The sign boasts a "world famous apple pancake." If I had a nickel for every joint that claimed to have a world-famous menu item, I could probably feed those starving children who can be fed on just thirty cents a day. I would then assume that those children would be asking the United Way workers "do you have any of those apple pancakes from Rickys?"

Rickys is a friendly place. Located around all those hotels, it keeps a vibrant, welcoming atmosphere. A brightly colored sea-scape mural decorates one wall. The waitresses all wear cute aprons emblazoned with the Rickys chef logo. (Sorry no picture of the logo. It's a chef with a big mustache flipping a pancake. Imagine up!) Our waitress would not part with her apron, despite our attempts to bribe her.



Professor ordered the steak and eggs breakfast. He said the steak was a little bland, but the eggs were cooked right and the hash browns were crispy delicious.



I, of course, had to see what this apple pancake was all about.



This thing was huge. It was like a souffle-pancake-bread pudding-monstrosity of tasty. It was very heavy, but not in way that meant you would have to be rolled out in a wheelbarrow after eating it. (Although that does sound like fun.) I powered through, knowing leftovers wouldn't last the several hours they would be sitting in the car. I could not waste a bite.

The coffee at Rickys was also very good and had a smooth flavor.

I would recommend Rickys to anyone traveling through that area of San Diego. It's a safe bet for family trips and low impact dining.

Food: Good.
Service: Friendly.
Price: $7-11
Pie: Basics.

2181 Hotel Circle S.
San Diego, CA 92108
(619) 291-4498‎

Mission Family Restaurant - Old School - CLOSED

You can tell from the picture that the Mission Family Restaurant has been around for a long time. Concave roof design, ancient sign, and rock wall exterior, this place is old school and nothing beats old school. Cancer is old school and nothing beats cancer. Shut up Lance Armstong!



Another sign that Mission Family is old and old school, the booths have not been redone since who knows when. My booth was held together with duct tape. Literally duct tape. The layers of duct tape tell the age of this place like the rings do on a tree trunk.

I'm not even sure where this place is and I was just there. This is far and away from my usual stomping grounds. #1 Diner Companion Antoinette and #1 Co-worker Eveleen brought me here. It's in Pomona, apparently.

Antoinette said I'd love it based on the decor alone; she knows me well. I love the "dinge" places. Although I was not a fan of the heat lamps I saw on the kitchen counter, just about everything else was top notch in terms of creating an experience.

Antoinette ordered the Mission Scramble, which was described as "scrambled eggs, two pieces of bacon with biscuit and gravy." It arrived as such:



Yes, smothered eggs with the biscuit. No mention of this at all on the menu.

I ordered the country breakfast of 3 eggs, 3 bacon, and biscuits and gravy, all for $6.35. It arrived as this:



Yep, totally normal. Totally as you would expect. I swapped with Antoinette. Sometimes the man has to take a hit. It was a good hit, though. The gravy, which is ladled up like soup onto the plate, was smooth and not greasy. It was just a bit too much. I think I made it through half of it before saying "No mas!" I did really like the biscuits. They had a soft, corn-bread like texture.

Evaleen got a standard pancake sandwich. It was what it was.



That cup in the foreground is coffee, which is very good at Mission Family Restaurant. I also want to note that they serve buttermilk by the glass. I honestly would like to try sitting down to a glass of buttermilk and a biscuit some time.

Other points of interest:

Crane machine! What is it with family restaurants and crane machines?



This one at least has cute stuffed animals. Like real ones that you could conceivably find in a store. These are not your usual hech en Tijuana ones full of sawdust and shredded newspapers. That frog is adorable! And that baby chick on the left? I want to hit with a hammer, it's so cute.

I was a little surprised to find these machines in the bathroom:



I guess it should be called Mission Family Planning Restaurant.

Food: Decent.
Service: Started good then went a little downhill.
Price: 4-10 for entrees
Pie: When it came time for this I got really distracted by a guy with a tracheotomy hole in his neck. It weirded me out. They have basic pies. Apple and Cherry are a safe bet.

Overall: The place thrives on the experience. The food was decent and the price was cheap.

UPDATE- Mission Family Restaurant closed in 2013.


888 W Mission Blvd,
Near S White Ave and W Mission Blvd
Pomona, CA 91766
(909) 629-6412

Auntie Em's Kitchen and being the 'regular'.

What is it to be a regular? You want to feel at home--no, that's not quite right, is it? You want to feel like you are visiting home when you decide to become a regular at a place.
You want to be like the dazzling first born son coming back to visit your widowed mother and younger siblings after your first month at a university (the first person in your family to go!). You haven't been gone long enough to really be missed, just long enough for the routine of home to be broken and for you to be treated with an extra measure of kindness and deference. There's no way anyone is going to ask you to do the dishes.

I've sought out that 'regular' status before. I was oh-so-close to being one at House of Pies. A combination of the House of Pies staff change(Britney, the waitress from Texas, we were almost friends!) and my moving out of the neighborhood robbed me of my burgeoning status. Now I am but a "I might have known you once" ex-lover of the House of Pies.

The closest place I now have is the Eagle Rock standard, Auntie Em's Kitchen.

Auntie Em's is a fine place. Dishes are made from scratch daily with farmer's market produce. You know the drill for this sort of neighborhood breakfast joint. Mismatched coffee mugs and table cloths and brightly painted walls are a bit old hat nowadays. Ten will get you twenty that one wall will be canary yellow, another a sea foam green and the other an inoffensive orange. There's a formula to these places, but that doesn't mean the food isn't good.



Auntie Em's is almost always crowded. If you go there on a weekend expect to wait for a table. The staff is always friendly and personable. These are just some cool kids making their way baking their ciabatta bread and looking for the freshest berries, man. Their positive attitude and friendliness are two of the greatest components of becoming a regular. After all, you don't decide when you're a regular, they do. One of the waitresses yelled at me to "sit down!" when she thought I was rushed into leaving to free up a table. I assured her that I did really have to go.

The first time I ate at Auntie Em's, I ordered the Mabel's shortstack with berries and coconut, which was so beautifully presented and tasty. The fresh fruit and the subtle syrup (poured from an old school Coke bottle) put this head and shoulders above your average pancakes.



And then a cupcake, one of their specialties. I found the cupcake to be too thick, too solid. It was good, but in one bite I felt like I had eaten a brick of Swiss chocolate.




The next time I went, I had the Honey Orange French Toast. also crazy good. Ciabatta bread french toast! Your mind has been blown. The bread was heavy, but easily cut with a fork.



Then I tried the apple pie. Good apple pie; ain't gonna kick Grandma Nellie's to the curb or anything, but it was good.



I rolled in one afternoon not too long ago and got the French Toast Special that day. The ciabatta (all the bread is ciabatta) french toast served with a cherry, blueberry and rhubarb compote. I was sold with that combination. Normally, I can pass on cherry nine times out of ten, but the addition of blueberry and rhubarb (which I love) sounded too good to pass up.



The dishes are just beautiful here. The colors trap your eyes. It would be a disservice to just describe them with 'red' or 'yellow' or 'green.' These dishes are deep crimson, harvest yellow, and emerald; A Crayola box of color.

With each bite I got every flavor present. "ah, there's the cherry, and now the blueberry and here comes the rhubarb!" I was like Violet Beauregard stealing the experimental chewing gum from Wonka.

The perfect portioning filled me up without giving me 'the bloat.'


My friend Professor Nefarious just moved into the neighborhood, and Ulrich Von Hurtem and I decided to take him out to breakfast. We took him to Auntie Em's. For the first time, walking in during prime breakfast time, I didn't need to wait. They sent us out to the patio, my first time out there as well.

Surprisingly, we all went with savory over sweet.





I got the meatloaf open faced breakfast sandwich. Since I can't seem to find it on the online menu, I think it must have been a special. Meatloaf and eggs sounded good at the time. It only sounded good though. It was decent, but certainly not something I would get again.

Ulrich originally wanted the Cajun turkey sausage, but as can be the case when you go to a place that gets everything local and fresh, they had just run out of that...at 10 am on a Sunday. He had to get the Applewood smoked bacon. It was good, but it just wasn't what he really wanted. Breakfast is how you start the day, and you don't want to start the day disappointed. That's what the rest of your day is for.

The Professor got a simple toasted bagel with scrambled eggs and tomato. He said it smelled "fishy," but otherwise it was fine.

This was my one disappointing experience at Auntie Em's. I will keep going, though. Their numbers are up after all. The staff always seems the same. Eventually I may even get a name and remember it. Maybe someday one of them will remember my name. Maybe they'll say things like "Oh go ahead and take a table out back, Mike. You'll love the french toast today. We're trying something new: caramel and bacon pancakes." I'd say "Sounds great," and then smile to myself knowing that my friends at Square One already do that. Oh, I'll get there one day.

You may also want to note that Auntie Em's does brisk take out business and has a tremendous selection of gourmet cupcakes, cookies and other baked goods, as well as various salads and cold noodle dishes available.

Food: Great--Stick to the french toast and pancakes, which seem to be a sure bet.
Service: Friendly
Price: 7-14
Pie: Yes, as well as other delicious pastries.

http://www.auntieemskitchen.com/press.html

Polly's Pies

Okay, it’s not a diner. It’s not even my kind of “Family Restaurant.” It’s closer to Kick Back Jack’s/BC Café. The place is Polly’s Pies, a So Cal chain of restaurants. Last weekend I hit the one in Norco.

Bright yellow barn inspired building with a faux water tower. Is it charming or slightly insulting? I can't tell. Upon entering we are greeted by the happiest greeter that ever greeted. The yellow exterior follows into the inside. Large yellow umbrellas sprout above the booths that hold down the floor. Smiley the Greeter leads the two of us over to a gigantic booth in a corner (again, slightly insulting?)

Peering down at us was a poster of Miguel and Roberto showing off their sweet onions. Not “SWEET!” onions but rather just sweet onions. All the walls were decorated with posters showing farmers and their various crops.

I assumed these were paid for by the various groups responsible, y’know, the Sweet Onion Advisory Council or the Federation Of Organic Tomatoists.

Polly’s has a lot of odd time restrictions on its menu. Breakfast specials are served until only 10:30am. After that, the breakfast selections are awfully paltry. Other specials are only available until 2pm, Monday through Wednesday.

Number 1 Diner Companion Antoinette ordered the Quiche Lorraine and the corn bread side. I ordered the old fashioned chicken salad sandwich with French fries.

The Quiche came with a nice salad with homemade croutons and a small bowl of fresh fruit with incredibly tasty strawberries.

The chicken salad sandwich came with walnut raisin bread. It was so delicious, a little crunchy, not too sloppy with mayonnaise and just a little bit sweet. I was not a fan of the french fries, though. They tasted almost bland.

Our waitress was a sweet older lady, but she disappeared for a long time after she brought our food. We waited to too long for coffee refills and had to ask twice for the cornbread.

When the cornbread did come, I was delighted that it was the cakey kind and not the crumbly kind. The crumbly is only good for chili as far as I am concerned. No honey was provided, though and we couldn't risk having her disappear again by requesting she bring some.

Now here comes the pie. Polly's Pies has over 40 pies on their menu. Unfortunately, many of these are "Time to Time Specialties," meaning they are season pies or just pies they don't make all the time. The standards are always in but the more outrageous selections are not. Olallieberries are in season right now thankfully, and I was able to order a slice of fresh Olallieberry pie. Antoinette ordered the "Banberry:" Banana cream pie with strawberry topping.

The olallieberry was good but not the best I've had. It really need more berries. The fresh whipped cream was a nice addition.

The Banberry was surprising. I've never been a big fan of the combo of strawberry and banana, but this really worked.

I should point out that you can buy fresh whole pies and frozen ones that you can take home and bake yourself, as well as an assortment of other bakery goods.

Bring your kids!

Overall, Polly's Pies was decent. The food was certainly good. I'd love to try more of their pies, but how often am I going to be in Norco? I was there and I still have no idea where it is.

Food: Good.

Service: "Where did she go?"

Price: 6-10

Pie: LOTS of it.

http://www.pollyspies.com/

Online coupons!

Mini-update!

Check out the bottom of the Corky's review page. It has been positively updated!

Look for the long awaited Auntie Em's Kitchen review to be posted on Monday.