Village Coffee Shop--Over and Under

The Village Coffee Shop is located in the shadow of the Hollywood sign in the closed-circuit neighborhood of Beachwood Canyon. You actually drive through a stone archway to enter the neighborhood. It's very fancy but yet, also somehow modest. It is like an idyllic oasis with a small town feel. The residents are served by a small grocery store and the only restaurant--the Village Coffee Shop.



I hadn't been to Village Coffee Shop in years; it was definitely pre-Dinerwood. It was never my regular spot or anything, but I'd find myself there every few months and I don't really know why. It was never good--literally nothing there was ever good. Decent, sure, but never good. Also, it's kind of expensive. You can't forget that, for as homey as the area feels, it is still in the Hollywood Hills, and that means they can get away with charging a bit more.

After all these years, I decided to go back and drag my friends Matt and Paul with me.



Village Coffee Shop is definitely decorated in the "Grandma's House" style. You do feel very comfortable there. It's about as un-LA a place I have ever been to. The wallpaper and decor made Paul angry. He lives in Hollywood, so I think anything that reminds him that life can be more than homeless people and parking tickets just makes him mad.



Paul had the tuna melt which was served with a slice of American cheese. It was a decent sized sandwich and had a decent amount of french fries. It was about nine bucks.



I got a beef melt with fries. For some reason my sandwich was cut into thirds. I also got nearly twice the fries that Paul did. My sandwich was a little bit more expensive than Paul's. It must have been the extra fries.



I ordered a side of ranch for my fries. It tasted watered down. I was at least hoping for a nice thick restaurant style ranch, but this was like low-fat dressing and just depressing.



Matt ordered an egg cream (milk, chocolate syrup and soda water) because, why not? Not a lot of places serve true soda fountain drinks. This was odd because the soda water was served on the side for no apparent reason.



He also ordered the ham and cheese sandwich, mostly because he was curious what a $9 ham and cheese was like. When it also came out with Swiss and American cheese he said "American cheese is just lazy!"

Overall, our opinion was that everything was decent but underwhelming. The french fries were cripsy on the outside but mealy on the inside. The sandwiches all tasted like what we'd make at home if we bothered to put a minimal amount of effort into it. It was also overpriced for the quality and portions. The neighborhood is what sets the prices. I think many more years will pass before I ever go back there.

When we left, Matt said "Okay, now where are we going for lunch?"

Food: Decent.
Price: $8-$17
Service: Decent.
Pie: Yes.

Village Coffee Shop
2695 N. Beachwood Dr
Los Angeles, CA 90068

Square One: Dining In The Shadow Of Xenu

At the same party that brought Delores’ to my attention, I was also told about a nouveau diner in my own neighborhood. It took a while to make it there but I finally did. I dragged Paul and Jeff, the gentleman who told us about it, along with me to Square One.

Paul lives down the street from Square One and had never really noticed it before. I had driven past it multiple times and had no idea where it was. This is easy to do since the front of this nouveau diner is pretty nondescript. On my second pass that day, I finally saw it. I realized another reason why I always missed it- I’m always looking at the other side of the street. Square One is in the shadow of a sprawling Scientology complex. You can’t help but stare at this thing as you drive by. The Scientologists own a lot of property here in Hollywood and this particular building reminds me of the apartment building in “Ghost Busters”, just painted blue. It looms ominously over everything.


I parked down the street and was the first to arrive. Square One is tiny. It’s your living room. Most of the tables are two tops but one long table rests in the middle. I told the host that there were would be three of us. She looked at me downright suspiciously before sending me to one side of the long table. It wasn’t more than a minute later that Paul arrived dissuading the host from thinking I was running some kind of seating scam on her.


We looked over the menu and Paul ordered an orange juice and I a coffee. The juice was the regular much too small for what you pay size that is restaurant standard. My coffee was served in a mug large enough to choke a bear. The coffee itself had a slight burnt taste.


Paul and I looked over the limited but dynamic menu. After the initial sticker shock- Square One is priced for ultimate hipness- I was delighted to find that everything on the menu sounded ridiculously good. It was insanely difficult to decide. Fortunately, Jeff had yet to show, giving us more time.

"Well, let me know when Elijah arrives" quipped our waiter.

After changing my mind about a half dozen times on what to order, Jeff finally arrived. Our waiter quickly got down to business.

Jeff ordered one of their signature baked egg dishes. Chorizo, gruyere cheese, salsa roja and bell peppers. He also got a side of bacon and a a slice of their Saturday only coffee cake.

The coffee cake came out first. All three of us dug in. I found it too bready.

He also liked his baked egg dish. Having been there several times he confidently can say he's never been disappointed by his food.



I should also mention that Jeff, a Jew, loves their bacon!


In fact if he could chose one way to die, it would be by eating their bacon.

And somewhere his foreskin is weeping.

Paul opted for an omelet including garlic/lemon thyme chicken sausage with gruyere cheese. Square One loves gruyere cheese I guess. Paul displayed his unsophisticated palate by lamenting the lack of ketchup for his eggs and potatoes.



Paul let me try some of those sweet looking potatoes . They were nice and crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. Delicious.

Jeff's love for the bacon inspired me to try what in my opinion was the most interesting soundings dish. 3 buttermilk pancakes served with a bacon enriched caramel sauce.

I was delighted when this beautiful dish hit the table. Bacon on pancakes is nothing groundbreaking to be sure but chunks of this premium bacon and a bacon "enriched" sauce- not a syrup mind you, but a sauce-was something new at least for me.

The best way to describe the bacon is to imagine the texture of one of those gross slabs of individual jerky strips you get at a 7-11, a little firm on the outside but squishy on the inside. Now remove the disgusting flavor and add a savory flavor from an actual pig. There's your Square One bacon.


It was fabulously rich and flavorful. I do advise you to pour that sauce onto the pancakes as soon as you can. It turns into a thick gravy sludge once it cools down.

Overall, Square One was a great experience. I would highly recommend it for any small group of people who like splurge a little on a interesting new take on breakfast standards. Large groups of spendthrifts, I suggest you stay away. Square One is similar to Doughboys except NOT closed down due to a major cockroach infestation.

Price: 8-15
Food: Very Good.
Service: Attentive and speedy since they want to get you out as soon as possible to make room for more diners.
Pie: Sadly, no.

Square One
4854 Fountain Avenue
Los Angeles CA 90029
323-661-1109

Diner 101- Never Run Out of Hashbrowns

Going to 101 is like stumbling into a limbo (which according to Popezenberger no longer exists) - nearly everyone inside is of this modern era but the place itself is captured by the year 1977. Part of this is an artificial put-on of 70s nostalgia. For example, the walls are decorated with framed personal photographs from the time. Lots of large Chevy pick-ups and kids with messy hair. The other part has genuine trappings of 70s décor. A wall is made up of exposed rock, the floor looks like the Formica in my great aunt’s old kitchen and amazingly wonderful globe light fixtures hang above the booths. (You will soon learn I have a thing for globe lighting fixtures.) It also harkens back to the day when diners were attached to other businesses. Usually they would sort of fit the locale, bus stations and bowling alleys for example. Growing up, my local Kmart had a diner in the back with magical looking jello parfaits in a glass case. The 101 Coffee shop is in a Best Western hotel, this leads to an often eclectic mix of hipsters, burgeoning rock stars and people who actually remember the 70s- and are in their 70s.

I went in on an overcast Sunday afternoon. This would be after the church rush and before the dinner boom, so I expected to find it near empty. To my surprise, it was busy and I had to settle for a small table. No booth with totally awesome hanging globe light for me. I ordered coffee which came promptly. Silverware proved elusive for a time. The coffee itself was hard to gauge. I added some creamer and a splenda packet but was unable to mix it short of taking matters into my own hands, or rather finger. After the spoon arrived, I can say they have perfectly adequate coffee. Not too bad and not noteworthy- despite the fact that I just made note of it.

Looking over the menu, it breaks down into three categories: breakfast fare (served all day) sandwiches (tend to be on the frou frou side) and pastas. It was too far from morning for me to be craving breakfast and I’m never in the mood for pasta. I perused the sandwiches for awhile. I couldn’t resist the pull of the fried egg sandwich. My dad used to have me make him these. Mom would usually make dinner but when she was working late, dad, sister or I would pony up and do it. When it was my turn to cook, pancakes and eggs were always on the menu. My dad liked his fried egg sandwiches a certain way, so to me that way is the only legit way to do it. Toasted bread, buttered and the egg fried all the way through with a thin slice of American cheese.

When my sandwich from the 101 came, it was plain toasted bread, a tomato, red leaf lettuce and the egg with cheese. ‘Close enough’ I thought. A few bites in I got quite the unexpected surprise. Apparently, another completely valid way of doing a fried egg sandwich is to leave the yolk runny. In England a fried egg sandwich is called an Eggs Banjo. It gets that name from that first bite into the yolk and the messy explosion that ensues. You pull the sandwich out and away from your body so as not to spill on yourself and it looks like you are running your hand up the fingerboard of a banjo. I was not expecting this and got slimy yellow all over my hands. Eating the rest of it became a bit of a chore. If I put the sandwich down it meant knifing and forking it which was not the kind of sandwich I was looking for. Flavor wise it was a perfectly fine sandwich. The tomato, which I hold in low regard when it is presented by itself, really worked well with the egg and bread. The lettuce was unnecessary. The toast could have used some butter on at least one slice, since the expectation seems to be there that you will be sopping up the yolk.

Normally this meal comes with hash browns, on this day however there was no more hash browned potatoes to be had. They offered me french-fries instead. I love french-fries. Some might see that as a negative that the 101 had run out of a diner staple, and really it is, regardless of my love for the fries. What if I were jonesing for hash browns? This would have been totes uncool. How could they possibly make it up to me? I’ll tell you how- Sweet Potato fries mixed in with the regular ones. Oh man, that was delicious.

The service was sketchy at best throughout. From the lack of silverware to the lack of refills on the coffee, I seemed mostly invisible. I can understand that if I were in some dark corner booth but I was at a table literally within ten feet of the register. My waitress, who was also the hostess seemed to be spread just a bit too thin. She wasn’t the only waitress there though. Another girl seemed to do nothing except walk up and down the nearly empty counter with a snotty look on her face (plus, she wore one of those Red China olive drab caps which is just annoying).

When it came time for dessert I asked my waitress what pies they had. “Cherry and Apple but I wouldn’t recommend them.” She steered me toward a fruit cobbler. I passed. Although I did not partake this time, the 101 is known for its delicious and eclectic milkshakes. You won’t find the industry standard three flavors here. Instead you will see peanut butter and honey (my favorite) or blackberry or the black and white concoction with a shot of espresso. Do these make up for the pie that is apparently so bad the staff dissuades you from ordering it? Not at all but they are tasty.

Price: $7-12 for most entrees
Food: Good enough.
Service: Lacking.

Atmosphere: Retro Fun.
Pie: Yes, but don’t do it.

101 Cofee Shop

6145 Franklin Ave

Los Angeles CA

(323) 467-1175