Lancers--Where the "Greatest Generation" Eats.

I went to Lancers a couple of times, many years ago--before I had even started Dinerwood. I had forgotten about it until just recently, and at that time it became an, "Oh yeah, I should go there again" place. It was pretty low on my priority list but then I found myself in Burbank a couple of times and in a position to grab a quick dinner, so this review covers two trips.

Lancers is a traditional family restaurant/coffee shop. Pastel colors cover the plush booths and the walls are adorned with awful motel room art. The restaurant is very large with a long counter and two full size dining rooms, not to mention the cocktail lounge (accessible through it's own entrance or through a door from the dining room).

On both visits, I was surprised at how packed it was. I was there at 6pm on weekdays and if I hadn't just been by myself, I would have had to wait a few minutes to be seated.

I noticed two distinct kinds of people at Lancers: old people and the not-quite-as-old people dining with the young people. There were quite a few families enjoying together time. There were greasy teenagers having awkward, stilted conversations with their parents over pancakes and patty melts seated right next to blue haired biddies talking about artificial hips and what a looker Roosevelt was...TEDDY Roosevelt. Heyoohhh!

One gray panther regular looked a little peeved when he saw me seated in the tiny booth. The waitress buzzed by him and said "We didn't think you were coming tonight." I guess I took his spot, so he sat down at the booth next to me. I'd like to say he glared at me or mumbled threats, but he didn't. He just hassled the waitress about tea and what soups they had.

Speaking of soups, I was able to look into the kitchen from my seat and I saw that they microwave their soups. I found this really odd. Most places have their soups in big heated pots or tubs or I'm not sure what they are called. I watched several times as a waiter would appear with a bowl of soup and pop it in the microwave for a minute or two and then take it to a table.

On both visits, the wait staff was just amazing. They were always there with a refill and a friendly smile. I think I was asked three times by three different waiters in the span of a minute if I needed anything to drink.

As the cover (seen above) demonstrates, Lancers has a traditional menu that covers everything anyone would have wanted to order in 1985.

Although I didn't think of this at the time, I guess I am commemorating the 3 year anniversary of Dinerwood in this review as well. I ordered a fried egg sandwich, something I hadn't ordered since the 101 Coffeeshop review three years ago. I was very surprised because this was literally just a fried egg on toast. No mayonnaise, no tomato, no cheese, no nothing. It was good, but obviously really dry. The coleslaw I got with it was very good, not too sweet and not at all soggy.

The next week I tried to be a little more adventurous. I tried the Liver and Onions dinner. I figured this was an old person kind of restaurant, I'd order an old person's of dinner.



My salad was good.

What? It's a salad. I'm not going to wax poetic about it.



The liver and onions came with a choice of sides. I went with rice and steamed vegetables. The veggies were very good: large chunk of carrot, large chunk of zucchini, large chunk of cauliflower, little bite of broccoli. The rice was tasty as it was obviously cooked in butter and chicken broth. The onions were good and caramelized. The liver...well, the liver was weird. It had the taste and texture of venison. I can take or leave venison. I've had good and I've had overly gamey. I ended up only eating about half of it. This experiment did not pay off.

I will note, that while I was leaving, I saw that, at two separate tables, people had also ordered the liver and onions. They seemed fine with it.

Now, I didn't get pie on either trip, but I have had their pie before and it was good. I remember really liking their chocolate cream pie. They also have a decent variety of cakes and muffins.

Lancers isn't exciting. In fact, it's the opposite. It's very safe and comfortable, which makes sense since after all, this is what we call "comfort food."

Food: Decent
Service: Excellent
Price: $5-$16
Pie: Yes

Lancers Family Restaurant
697 North Victory Boulevard
Burbank, CA 91502-1628
(818) 843-3433

The Horseless Carriage: Buy a car, get some pie...or not.

The American auto industry has been in the news a lot lately. For once, a diner review is somewhat topical. The Horseless Carriage Restaurant is a unique type of diner. It's unique because it is in a car dealership--the Galpin Ford car dealership in North Hills, right next to the 405, in the heart of the Valley.

Yes. A car dealership's own diner. It opened in-well, why should I tell the story? Let's let Mister Galpin tell it.

For a closer look at the pic, click here.

For this visit, I brought #1Diner Companion Antoinette, #1Diner Photog Charlie, and #1Gwen Stefani Fan Cammie. Cammie grew up in the area and her parents always bought their cars from Galpin. The salesmen would give the kids tokens to take to the restaurant to exchange for sodas. Only one salesmen still does that, Stuart Sank, according to our waitress, and you should totally buy your car from him because of this.

One thing we noticed about the Horseless Carriage was that the interior was immaculately clean. The stainless steel and faux-deco fixtures gleamed and sparkled in the summer twilight. This was, hands-down, the cleanest diner I have ever visited.

We started with coffee even though it was 7pm on a Sunday. I wasn't expecting much and was pleasantly surprised at how good the coffee was. So far we were off to a good start.

Looking at the menu, I noted that it covered a lot of the basics but wasn't overwhelming. There was just enough of every category to give some variety but without any 'wastes.' I feel like a lot of restaurants have 'wastes' on the menu--dishes that you just can't imagine anyone actually ordering...like the salmon at House of Pies.

Cammie ordered the Cobb salad. Which looks absolutely beautiful in that picture and tasted just as good.

Cammie also ordered a side of biscuits and gravy for the table, just to try it out. The biscuit was good--not great, and the gravy was a little watery.

Antoinette ordered the Sourdough Special and cup of french onion soup, but they were out of soup, so she just got the sandwich. The sourdough special is basically the beefeater at House of Pies or a beef melt at other places. It's roast beef, tomatoes and cheese melted on sourdough. It was good, but not as good as other versions of it that we've had.

Charlie and I both went with the reuben. It started out alright, although it was a little dry. Charlie had the wherewithal to order sides of thousand island dressing. Once we were able to really slather them with sauce, the enjoyability of the sandwich went up considerably.

We all ordered desert, well three deserts for four people. #1DC and I were going to split the pumpkin pie, which was the only pie they had left that day. Cammie ordered the cheesecake and Charlie ordered the strawberry cake. Charlie was the winner. The cake was especially pretty and delightfully sweet. It could have been a little fluffier, but was good overall. The cheesecake was decent but unspectacular. Our pumpkin pie was, well--it was a piece of pie that tasted like pumpkin, but not pumpkin pie. There seemed to be no nutmeg, no cinnamon, no spices. It just tasted like mashed up, kind of burnt, kind of soggy pumpkin on a pie crust.

In addition to the pies and cakes, they have something called the "Galpiccino." This consists of coffee ice cream, mocha powder and milk, blended with ice and topped with whipped cream. Just for the name it deserves to be ordered...just not by us... at least this time. And of course they had jello and whipped cream. How could they not?

With only a few minor bumps along the way, from the coffee all the way through to the end, it was well worth the drive. The only truly disappointing part was the pie. Even forgetting that it is probably second only to the Police Academy diner as far as unique locations goes, I can truly recommend the Horseless Carriage for a great experience.

Food: Good.

Service: Very friendly and helpful.

Price: $6-$11 with dinner entrees being a tad more.

Pie: Various cream pies, fruit and pumpkin. Stay away from pumpkin.

15505 Roscoe Blvd

North Hills, CA 91343-6503

(818) 892-3707‎

Again, special thanks to Charlie Chu for his great photography. He is available for weddings, bat mitzvahs and celebrity funerals.

Spare some change for the Nickel Diner

I recieved a hot tip about a new diner opening up in downtown. Okay, it wasn't a real "hot tip." It was diner pal Paul forwarding me an article from an LA website about the opening. I knew that I had to go on the first day because how often do you get to go to a place on it's opening day? I've never experienced it, but I can imagine there's excitement, maybe some headaches and potential disappointment, but also potential amazement. It's a lot like the first time you have sex...with another person...or with yourself for that matter.


The Nickel Diner opened for its first shift on August 27th in one of those areas of downtown that's getting gentrified, but only jussssst barely starting the process. Imagine the area around venerable Los Angeles cafeteria, Clifton's, without the glitz of the jewelry district but with all the goodness of the homeless.

Joining me this time were #1 Diner Companion Antoinette and #1 Coworker Eveleen. Technically speaking, I crashed their lunch plans and convinced them to go to The Nickel. We lucked into parking right in front. A Meth head perched near the entrance provided us some parking advice when we encountered a broken parking meter,
"Don't worry, they don't bother checking." It was almost like valet!


The street locals did seem cautiously curious of this new eatery in their midst. Many of them would stop and gaze at the delicious looking baked goods in the window. None, though, even seemed to consider going in.




Arriving there at about 2 pm, I was pleased to see a healthy crowd still eating. Unless the waitstaff were total d-bags and the cooks put AIDS infected needles in the vegan tapioca, I want a place like this to succeed. I love diners of all stripes, even the nouveau diners, which The Nickel definitely embodies.

So the first of two headaches hit us pretty quickly. The menu implores you (with its placement and catchy name) to order the S'mac and Cheese (spicy with three cheeses, topped with tomato and bread crumbs). The waitress confirmed that the name was meant as a joke based on the neighborhood. The gals wanted to go splitsies on it and then the waitress had to say "Yeaaaa... we actually don't have that today."




The BBQ pork hash and eggs was probably the most old-school diner thing I could get on the menu by the early afternoon. (Pancakes stop being served at 11). It was a good choice: familiar, but with enough of a twist with the BBQ sauce and the seasonings that I felt like I was getting something brand new. I was a little disappointed with the portion. It was a reasonable portion. I am not going to lie. I like to have to make a choice about whether or not to clean my plate. I was left hungry. Luckily, I had some other delectable things to graze on.

The girls did go splitsies on some items.




The stuffed avocado couldn't be any more frou frou. It had quinoa in it. *I* only know what quinoa is because I bought an "Archer Farms" box dinner version of it from Target. It's like cous cous. I still don't have any idea how to say it. The avocado was not something I'd ever order on my own, but it was exceptionally good. I'm glad the gals got it: flavorful combination of red peppers, black beans, corn, and quinoa made this a hearty salad option.



They also got the chicken salad sandwich on wheat. I love chicken salad and although this was good, it didn't seem up the level of culinary detail I was begining to expect as part of the Nickel Diner's plan. I imagine it will go through some refinement.

The french fries were beyond belief. Thin cut, but not overly crispy, with a great flavored salt. I am going to make a "top 10 fries of all time" list, just so I can put these on it.

We were treated to a lovely display of the desserts available and even got to sample the maple glazed donut with bacon pieces (real bacon not the stuff you put on salads) sprinkled on top. Bacon and maple syrup are two things that need to be combined much more often in this world.

At this point, the second headache appeared: the credit card machine was not working and it was cash only. After trying to pool our cash and realizing we'd come up short, I jaunted out into the world to find an ATM. I lucked into finding one two blocks away in a liquor store where weird old men watched me suspiciously.

One week later, the three of us returned to see how things were going. The good news is that they seemed to be going well. We had the same waitress and asked about how business had been. She said steady and that they had gotten slammed over the weekend. I'm glad they are doing brisk business.

This time I ordered the polenta with chicken apple sausage and maple syrup.



I wasn't really sure what to expect. I had only ever had fried polenta before. This blew me away. Easily my favorite thing so far at the Nickel, I think I could eat this for breakfast at least twice a week.



The girls were finally able to get the S'mac and Cheese. Antoinette didn't feel like the three cheeses blended very well and just made a strange flavor--not necessarily a good or even an interesting one. The amount of bread crumb crust was a bit much.



Now the grilled cheese sandwich won the blue ribbon from the gals: "Phenom!" Roasted tomato and mozarella, perfectly grilled. I will note they also have another grilled cheese option with cheddar, bacon and tomato.

Still having some room for a dessert, we decided to peruse the dessert tray. Typically, I was inclined to get the delicious looking meringue, but the Berry White Cake could not be ignored.



Loyal readers will know that I am a hardcore pie man, but even I will admit that there are cakes that look like works of sugar art make kissy faces at your eyes. More often than not, they fail to actually do the same to your tastebuds. This one actually delivers on the visual promise with a deep and long perfect blend of everything from the amount of fruit, the thickness of the frosting to the amount of actual cake.

I'm very glad to have a diner near my day job so I can have easy access to my favorite style of food. An extra bonus is that this place is spectacularly good.

The only bummer: they still hadn't fixed the credit card machine.

Food: Super Great.
Service: Friendly.
Price: 8-14
Pie: Lemon Meringue (plus other desserts)

524 Main Street
Los Angeles CA
The website