Teahouse Coffee Shop - Imperial Palace, Las Vegas. Why was I here?

Vegas is not my friend. Last time I was here, it robbed me a of a month's rent. This time, it kept me up for 24 hours straight. At 7 am, half drunk and wandering the Imperial Palace casino floor, I was the last of my tribe in sight. Not terribly hungry but needing food, I searched for the sign that would tell where to go to get some food-- Teahouse Coffee Shop. A coffee shop? An opportunity to make it mean something to be up this late... this early?

I staggered, out of exhaustion, not inebriation, to the escalator and took immense pleasure in not having to move for the ride up. I stood by the entrance for moment before I startled the hostess with my presence. Apparently my staggering was stealthy. This woman would not survive the zombie apocalypse. Despite the hour, the staff was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I guess they hadn't been in the Mai Tai bar off the lobby since midnight.

Maybe it was just me, but I couldn't tell what they were going for decor wise. It's at the Imperial Palace, which is Asian themed (it vacillates between Chinese and Japanese) and the place is called the Teahouse Coffee Shop...there's a lot going on there. Basically what you get is a pastel-ly, strip-mall looking Japanese restaurant that doesn't serve Japanese food but rather American diner favorites.

I call this face "Uggh."



So first thing I did after sitting was order a coffee. I then inquired if they had any breakfast specials. I had just missed the cheapo Vegas-style full meal for 6.99 by 30 minutes. I ordered the Silver State Skillet. Two eggs served over a "casserole" of sausage, pork and bacon on a bed of hash browns. It sounded like such a good idea. That's a gang of pig!

First the coffee came...straight from the pit of hell. This was the hottest cup of coffee I had ever been in uncomfortable proximity to. Was it good, though? No idea! It was so hot I could barely sip it. It seemed weak though. I guess casinos don't like you to be alert.

Then the food came. Awww, a flower. That's precious.



The food sounded like a good idea. In truth, the food was fine. Nothing special, nothing to recommend. It's a Vegas casino breakfast. It put food in me and it didn't come back to haunt me.


The only disappointing thing were the "biscuits." They sucked. Get a load of the scale of these tiny dust-tasting things. Almost 3 bucks for that. I got a better return on my investment of three bucks into the video poker machine that I randomly pressed buttons on for a minute before I crapped out.

Food: Meh.
Service: Friendly.
Price: $7-20 (it's Vegas)
Pie: Nope.

3535 Las Vegas Blvd. South
Las Vegas, Nevada

UPDATE!

Imperial Palace Teahouse Coffee Shop is now a Hash House A-Go-Go.

Still not that good.


The interior is completely remolded to fit in with the Hash House A-Go-Go aesthetic.



The food is still presentation over quality. Although, I do really like their biscuits. That right there is an improvement over the previous version of the restaurant.

Corky's, Where Life Goes On

UPDATED 5/30! Check out the end.



Corky's is a unique place. Off the 210 out in the sticks of Rancho Cucamonga, it is a locally owned and newly opened 24-hour diner. I've been to Corky's several times now: breakfast and dinner and late night hungry time. According to a waitress I spoke to, the owner saw the need for a good home cooking place to compete with Denny's.

Corky's has a lot going for it. Convenient location... I mean relatively. Clearly not convenient if you live in Santa Monica or...well anywhere other than Rancho Cucamonga. It is right off the 210 though, so on your way to or back from Vegas, it would be right there. It has wonderful homey decor. It looks like what you wish your grandmother's house looked like, instead of a pine box in the ground...or maybe that's just me. They bake their cookies and pie right there. It has just one problem: the food is pretty, but taste-wise can only be described as "meh."

Most recently, I had the Chicken and Dumplings, as it was the one item Diner Companion Antoinette recommended from her previous time there. She said after she sent it back the first time because of the still frozen dumplings, and it came back with unfrozen dumplings, it was the best thing she had had there. Well, I didn't have that problem because no dumplings were to be found at all in mine. I had the Chicken and Nothlings. The mashed potatoes were homemade and the brown gravy was pretty decent, though

.

Antoinette got the Pea Soup in a bread bowl. Some people can't stand pea soup, sometimes because of the "Exorcist," sometimes because it's kind of gross in theory. It's peas...mushed up...and made soupy. We both appreciated that that they included the scooped out piece of bread as a "sopper" and the soup itself wasn't half bad.

So overall this trip was mediocre at best. I really wanted some dumplings with my chicken. That would have been really nice.

A busy Sunday morning found us again at Corky's counter for breakfast. Sitting there, we were able to see some of the whirling dancing of the waitresses. A half dozen waitresses were busy shuffling around orders, slathering butter on toast, TWICE,once before it goes in the toaster and once after.

I wasn't all that hungry, so I ordered the oatmeal.




That's a lot of good fixings for oatmeal, which is great because you definitely need them; the oatmeal was mushy and bland.

Corky's was so busy that morning that food began to pile up at the kitchen window. Without heat lamps, the food just sat there cooling down. I did get to hear one choice gem from one waitress to the other:
Waitress 1 to pregnant waitress: How are you holding up? I was so horny when I was pregnant.

Antoinette got the eggs breakfast, the home fries were overly salty. The eggs were adequate.

On our first trip there, I ordered the Meat Loaf Sandwich. The meatloaf was too moist and tasted like meaty water. It also had green peppers, which overpowered the dish entirely.

The rest of the food was, well..... "meh."

The one saving grace for Corky's is their pie.

Apple pie, thin crust and packed full of apples that still taste like apples and not apple pie filling.



Eggnog Cream Pie. I love eggnog. Even without booze, I love eggnog. Now put it in pie form? That is good eating. I don't give a damn if it's near Christmas or not. I am firmly Pro-Eggnog.

Chocolate cream pie that had a smooth chocolate flavor with the only flaw being a rather bland crust that tasted like a store bought frozen one.


German chocolate cream pie that was nearly s good as House of Pies. And pumpkin pie that just punched your mom's pumpkin pie in the face.



I cannot, in good faith, recommend Corky's for anything other than these delicious pies. The food looks so good. It's presented beautifully, but it just fails to deliver on taste.

Corky's Bakery and Kitchen

6403 Haven Ave, Alta Loma, CA

(909) 941-8655


UPDATE-

A few weeks ago I received a very nice email from Mike, the owner of Corky's. He apologized that we hadn't been completely satisfied with our food and asked us if we would come back and give them another try. Trusted Official #1 Diner Companion, Antoinette, and I went back there last week.


The verdict?

The food was GOOD!



I had the Polish Sausage Skillet and it was freakin' delicious. Best way to describe it was "fresh."


Antoinette had the tuna melt on wheat, which was also good.

The best thing though, and I knew it would be, the new Mocha Toffee Swirl Cream Pie. Go call your mom and tell her that everything she's ever done for you has mattered not one goddamn bit because she never made you this pie. This pie is simply amazing.

So now I'll say, enthusiastically: try out Corky's.