Polly's Pies

Okay, it’s not a diner. It’s not even my kind of “Family Restaurant.” It’s closer to Kick Back Jack’s/BC Café. The place is Polly’s Pies, a So Cal chain of restaurants. Last weekend I hit the one in Norco.

Bright yellow barn inspired building with a faux water tower. Is it charming or slightly insulting? I can't tell. Upon entering we are greeted by the happiest greeter that ever greeted. The yellow exterior follows into the inside. Large yellow umbrellas sprout above the booths that hold down the floor. Smiley the Greeter leads the two of us over to a gigantic booth in a corner (again, slightly insulting?)

Peering down at us was a poster of Miguel and Roberto showing off their sweet onions. Not “SWEET!” onions but rather just sweet onions. All the walls were decorated with posters showing farmers and their various crops.

I assumed these were paid for by the various groups responsible, y’know, the Sweet Onion Advisory Council or the Federation Of Organic Tomatoists.

Polly’s has a lot of odd time restrictions on its menu. Breakfast specials are served until only 10:30am. After that, the breakfast selections are awfully paltry. Other specials are only available until 2pm, Monday through Wednesday.

Number 1 Diner Companion Antoinette ordered the Quiche Lorraine and the corn bread side. I ordered the old fashioned chicken salad sandwich with French fries.

The Quiche came with a nice salad with homemade croutons and a small bowl of fresh fruit with incredibly tasty strawberries.

The chicken salad sandwich came with walnut raisin bread. It was so delicious, a little crunchy, not too sloppy with mayonnaise and just a little bit sweet. I was not a fan of the french fries, though. They tasted almost bland.

Our waitress was a sweet older lady, but she disappeared for a long time after she brought our food. We waited to too long for coffee refills and had to ask twice for the cornbread.

When the cornbread did come, I was delighted that it was the cakey kind and not the crumbly kind. The crumbly is only good for chili as far as I am concerned. No honey was provided, though and we couldn't risk having her disappear again by requesting she bring some.

Now here comes the pie. Polly's Pies has over 40 pies on their menu. Unfortunately, many of these are "Time to Time Specialties," meaning they are season pies or just pies they don't make all the time. The standards are always in but the more outrageous selections are not. Olallieberries are in season right now thankfully, and I was able to order a slice of fresh Olallieberry pie. Antoinette ordered the "Banberry:" Banana cream pie with strawberry topping.

The olallieberry was good but not the best I've had. It really need more berries. The fresh whipped cream was a nice addition.

The Banberry was surprising. I've never been a big fan of the combo of strawberry and banana, but this really worked.

I should point out that you can buy fresh whole pies and frozen ones that you can take home and bake yourself, as well as an assortment of other bakery goods.

Bring your kids!

Overall, Polly's Pies was decent. The food was certainly good. I'd love to try more of their pies, but how often am I going to be in Norco? I was there and I still have no idea where it is.

Food: Good.

Service: "Where did she go?"

Price: 6-10

Pie: LOTS of it.

http://www.pollyspies.com/

Online coupons!

Mini-update!

Check out the bottom of the Corky's review page. It has been positively updated!

Look for the long awaited Auntie Em's Kitchen review to be posted on Monday.

Richie's "Diner"- The word doesn't mean what you think it means.

This place is too shiny, and not East Coast Diner shiny, like dads with sandals and socks and daughters with low-rise jeans shiny. It's suburb shiny. Calling it Richie's Diner makes my teeth ache. There are hints there that it used to be something special, that somewhere there might be an original Richie's that doesn't grate on my sensibilities. [And apparently there is- http://www.richiesdiner.com/ two locations in northern California where the pictures seem a bit more faux-authentic. Oddly the website does not list the location I went to in Rancho Cucamonga.]


It was a busy weekend night when we strode in, might have even been the opening weekend for Richie's here. There was that kind of ridiculous energy in the air; the kind you might find at a Wal-Mart opening or a Gottschalk's sale. We put our names on the list and waited.

And we waited in the cramped lobby where they teased us with an apple cider dispenser and tiny Dixie cups, only to find no unused cups and an empty jug of cider.

Richie's also sells salt water taffy by the sack. Sure, why not. Do what you gotta Richie's.

It became quite clear after half an hour or so that we had been skipped on the list. We approached the frazzled man at the counter. When he realized that he had skipped us, he tried to say he had called our names, but the looks on our faces and his realization that we had never been more than ten feet from the counter made him quickly abandon that tactic.

Normally, with even that much time invested, I would have hit the bricks, but Ritchie's promised me something. On their crowded front counter were an assortment of unique sodas, including my old favorite, Green River Soda. Part of my childhood all the way up to high school, the Green River Soda was MY drink. I haven't had a Green River, especially from the bottle, in a long time. Too long, old friend. I had to stay.



Finally, we were taken to a table through the generic, could be a Chilis, could be a Macaroni Grill, could be the third circle of hell, dining room.



Looking over the menu, we found the traditional American favorites with only the occasional TGIFriday's influence.

One of us ordered the open faced meatloaf sandwich, substituting french fries for mashed potatoes. The other ordered the pot roast sandwich. We had been waiting so long and were so hungry, I actually forgot to take a picture until we were nearly done. Neither of these meals were impressive, or reall all that good. Plain and generic tasting. And please note; they messed up and gave us both french fries.



But oh sweet Venus, my green bottle love came to me and I did drink her up. Sugary syrup with tiny champagne bubbles. Sigh, what dreams may come.



We waited a very long time for our check, so long we decided to ask for it. What a foolhardy move that proved to be. Our waiter had forgotten to print it out. We could have walked out and there would have been no evidence except for our left over food stuffs...Yes, I did take the Green River bottle with me.

I cannot recommend Richie's Diner because I won't recommend any chain restaurant to anyone for a meal. You can call it a "diner" all you want Richie, but that don't make it right. And do not get me started on what the hell "Real American" means.

Food: Meh!
Service: Feh!
Price: Gah!
Pie: Nah!... okay they had some overpriced desserts with pie-like stuff.

Victoria Gardens
8039 Monet Ave
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91739

On the Road: Portland and Vacouver's diners: Fat Dave's, Jam, and Stardust

Here's another long in the hopper, "On the Road" edition from my trip back in October.

After my long stint in Spokane, I crossed the state by plane,rented a car, and headed south to see my friend Greg (whom you may remember from the Joe's Diner review) in his new town of Vancouver, Washington. It sits right on the border with Portland, Oregon, also known as "the city that freeway planners forgot." I also took the opportunity to visit my old college friend, Amber. In a mere day and half down there, I hit three diner/breakfast joints.

First off, Amber took me to Fat Dave's Restaurant and Lounge. Apparently the place had just recently been upgraded from "dive" to "slightly musty." We rolled in about mid-afternoon and were just about the only people inside, aside from a regular, or at elast the kind of guy who looks like a "regular," be it at a lunch counter or a bar at last call.

I got the "Fat Dave's Special" which included 3 pancakes, 3 eggs, sausage, hash browns, and toast. Amber got the cheese omelette(picture lost to the hard drive ether), which included just about all the same sides.

The food was unremarkable for the most part. The hash browns were the stand out, being a thick mound of potatoes. Shredded at some point but then packed together tightly for their time on the griddle. It was still on Hash brown Road but pointed toward Latke Blvd.

The coffee was good, but an incredible oddpoint: you were only allowed one refill on sodas. Coffee is flowing like the mighty Mississippi, but soda levels are down to LA River measurements.

The best part of Fat Dave's is the stained glass window that adorns the dining room.

Says it all really.

Food: Unremarkable.

Service: In my notes I wrote "odd". I have since forgotten what was odd about it. So.. be warned.
Price: $6-10

Pie- Yes.

Fat Dave's
1511 NE 99 St.

Vancouver, WA

For dinner that night I hooked up with Greg and he took me to the Stardust Diner. Don't let the sign fool you. It is not called the "Blurry Something D-R." My camera phone is not kind to me at night.



Like San Diego's Studio Diner, Stardust is of the shiny metal variety. This place even decorates for desserts. The entire staff appeared to consist of teenagers. At first, this was a bit disconcerting on account of how shitty teenagers are at everything except screwing shit up. However, they proved to be highly intelligent and thorough food workers.

The only low point of the service was at one point they all seemed to disappear to go sing "Soulja Boy" in the kitchen. Jut out of frustration, I was about ready to Superman some hos myself.

I did really like that the Stardust Diner had its own newsletter.

I took a chance and ordered the Philly Cheesteak. Our waiter asked if we wanted to try their new curly fries. He was really excited about these curly fries. I opted in.

Greg had the bacon cheeseburger. Greg got the curly fries, too. The waiter was just too excited about these for us not to turn him down.

The food was only okay. Both of our meals felt overly heavy in our stomachs. So much so, that having after having opted in for the curly fries, we had to opt out of a dessert.

I felt bad because, as I stated earlier, they totally decorated for their desserts.

Food: Okay.
Service: Surprisingly friendly and efficient.
Price: 8-14
Pie: Yes.

Check out their website. Warning: rock and rolling from the get go. Turn your speakers down.
http://www.stardustdiner.biz/

1110 SE 10th Ave.
Vancouver, WA 98683

ETA: Stardust has since closed down. Bum news.

Jam on Hawthorne is probably known to most modern Diner aficionados. It was featured on the "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" show on Food Network.

This eclectic little breakfast joint is nestled in one of Portland's fine hip neighborhoods. Greg and I stopped in about mid-morning on my final day down on in the P-Land-O. (I just made that up. Can people start using it for Portland Oregon? I think that would be cool.)

Jam has a nice neighborhood vibe. I would say it's Portland's Square One, or rather Square One is L.A's Jam. Hipster clients mixed in with regular folks and soccer moms who just got out of their Pilates classes all gathered for breakfast here.

I had to break out of my current breakfast rut and try something new. No, no, no, nothing as drastic as a fruit cup or a bowl of granola--Close, though.

I ordered the VEGAN blueberry pancakes. WTF! OMG!! Vegan! Yes, I ordered them and ate them and they were good.

Greg got the famous Corned Beef Hash breakfast. This was not dog food. This was high-quality (so high-quality I want to put an accent mark somewhere on it) corned beef. Moist, but not mushy; salty, but not briny. It was m-f-ing, Campbells Mmm Mmmm Good!

This was a great way to end that leg of my trip.

Food: Excellent.

Service: Friendly.

Price: 7-13

Pie: Sadly, no.

2239 SE Hawthorne Blvd

Portland, OR 97214

Phone: (503) 234-4790

Corky's, Where Life Goes On

UPDATED 5/30! Check out the end.



Corky's is a unique place. Off the 210 out in the sticks of Rancho Cucamonga, it is a locally owned and newly opened 24-hour diner. I've been to Corky's several times now: breakfast and dinner and late night hungry time. According to a waitress I spoke to, the owner saw the need for a good home cooking place to compete with Denny's.

Corky's has a lot going for it. Convenient location... I mean relatively. Clearly not convenient if you live in Santa Monica or...well anywhere other than Rancho Cucamonga. It is right off the 210 though, so on your way to or back from Vegas, it would be right there. It has wonderful homey decor. It looks like what you wish your grandmother's house looked like, instead of a pine box in the ground...or maybe that's just me. They bake their cookies and pie right there. It has just one problem: the food is pretty, but taste-wise can only be described as "meh."

Most recently, I had the Chicken and Dumplings, as it was the one item Diner Companion Antoinette recommended from her previous time there. She said after she sent it back the first time because of the still frozen dumplings, and it came back with unfrozen dumplings, it was the best thing she had had there. Well, I didn't have that problem because no dumplings were to be found at all in mine. I had the Chicken and Nothlings. The mashed potatoes were homemade and the brown gravy was pretty decent, though

.

Antoinette got the Pea Soup in a bread bowl. Some people can't stand pea soup, sometimes because of the "Exorcist," sometimes because it's kind of gross in theory. It's peas...mushed up...and made soupy. We both appreciated that that they included the scooped out piece of bread as a "sopper" and the soup itself wasn't half bad.

So overall this trip was mediocre at best. I really wanted some dumplings with my chicken. That would have been really nice.

A busy Sunday morning found us again at Corky's counter for breakfast. Sitting there, we were able to see some of the whirling dancing of the waitresses. A half dozen waitresses were busy shuffling around orders, slathering butter on toast, TWICE,once before it goes in the toaster and once after.

I wasn't all that hungry, so I ordered the oatmeal.




That's a lot of good fixings for oatmeal, which is great because you definitely need them; the oatmeal was mushy and bland.

Corky's was so busy that morning that food began to pile up at the kitchen window. Without heat lamps, the food just sat there cooling down. I did get to hear one choice gem from one waitress to the other:
Waitress 1 to pregnant waitress: How are you holding up? I was so horny when I was pregnant.

Antoinette got the eggs breakfast, the home fries were overly salty. The eggs were adequate.

On our first trip there, I ordered the Meat Loaf Sandwich. The meatloaf was too moist and tasted like meaty water. It also had green peppers, which overpowered the dish entirely.

The rest of the food was, well..... "meh."

The one saving grace for Corky's is their pie.

Apple pie, thin crust and packed full of apples that still taste like apples and not apple pie filling.



Eggnog Cream Pie. I love eggnog. Even without booze, I love eggnog. Now put it in pie form? That is good eating. I don't give a damn if it's near Christmas or not. I am firmly Pro-Eggnog.

Chocolate cream pie that had a smooth chocolate flavor with the only flaw being a rather bland crust that tasted like a store bought frozen one.


German chocolate cream pie that was nearly s good as House of Pies. And pumpkin pie that just punched your mom's pumpkin pie in the face.



I cannot, in good faith, recommend Corky's for anything other than these delicious pies. The food looks so good. It's presented beautifully, but it just fails to deliver on taste.

Corky's Bakery and Kitchen

6403 Haven Ave, Alta Loma, CA

(909) 941-8655


UPDATE-

A few weeks ago I received a very nice email from Mike, the owner of Corky's. He apologized that we hadn't been completely satisfied with our food and asked us if we would come back and give them another try. Trusted Official #1 Diner Companion, Antoinette, and I went back there last week.


The verdict?

The food was GOOD!



I had the Polish Sausage Skillet and it was freakin' delicious. Best way to describe it was "fresh."


Antoinette had the tuna melt on wheat, which was also good.

The best thing though, and I knew it would be, the new Mocha Toffee Swirl Cream Pie. Go call your mom and tell her that everything she's ever done for you has mattered not one goddamn bit because she never made you this pie. This pie is simply amazing.

So now I'll say, enthusiastically: try out Corky's.

Armon's Restaurant: Where Eagle Rocks Dare

It's named Armon's. It's staffed by Asians. There's a story there.....er, probably not, actually.






Armon's Restaurant sits near the intersection of Colorado and Eagle Rock Blvd. It is not too far from Pat and Lorraine's, which in turn is only a few blocks from Auntie Em's (review coming next month). I believe that makes Eagle Rock the Los Angeles hamlet with the highest density of breakfast joints. Sadly, Armon's is the lowest wrung on that ladder.


When I went there with diner companions Paul and Antoinette, I appreciated the effort made to make it look like a diner and not a hotel(cough cough Hungry Fox and Kick Back Jack's, I'm looking at you!) If you notice in the background, those are full boxes of cereal. Not those tiny boxes you'd normally get if you were foolish enough to order cereal at a restaurant. Armon's gets kudos for that. It's more a decorative kudos than anything, really.

The food was decent. We ordered the applewood chicken sausage and eggs breakfast. Our sausages were a tad on the burnt side of crispy. The large chunks of potato for the home fries were cooked perfectly, but could have used a bit more seasoning.

The biscuits and gravy were just adequate as well. The biscuit looks like it came from a KFC.

The real stand out was the bagel breakfast sandwich. Overflowing with egg and cheese it really was a delight. Note that it does come with mayonnaise, which may be a turn-off for some breakfast sandwich purists.

Although clearly not homemade, the apple pie was good. Yes, it was eaten with a spoon. I have recently discovered the spoon pie is slightly more fun than fork pie. Why? Because the smoothness of your mouth caressing the food off the curved metal is better than sucking it off some prongs.

Food- Decent.

Service- Very friendly.

Price- $6-11

Pie- Basic fruits.

5056 Eagle Rock Blvd

Los Angeles, CA 90041-1924

Phone: (323)478-1440